Antithesis

It’s been a while since I checked out of Facebook. A couple of years ago I pretty much deleted it from my life (although didn’t delete my profile, I’m not THAT removed from society). I removed the app from my phone, I deleted it from my bookmarks, and I set a filter on my email to send any notifications from Facebook directly to my rubbish folder. So, for a couple of years, save a few check-ins on my timeline by friends (which I allowed so at least it looked like I still had some semblance of a life, oh the hypocrisy) I have been leading a life of blissful Facebook ignorance. I no longer felt a bit crap about my life at dinnertime when I was dishing myself up another bowl of generic cornflakes for one while others were sharing photos of their dinner cooked by “wonderful hubby”, I didn’t feel any “mummy guilt” about allowing my kids to spend every day of their holiday on the Xbox rather than taking them on expensive trips to Legoland and the “important” issues of the day (what colour is this dress, a nasty dentist killed a lion) have found their way to me through anonymous internet forums and Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour. So honestly, I haven’t missed it.

But then I got a new phone and I didn’t delete the app quickly enough. Completely randomly and without any warning I started getting notifications on my phone. “Look! Your friend is doing this cool thing without you!” “Someone you barely know tagged you in a post suggesting you like their selling page of stuff you don’t want!” “A bunch of women say if you like this meme the world will be rid of breast cancer forever!”… whatever. And it just got too hard to resist, and quickly the old Fakebook insecurities have crept back into my life, along with all the existential angst and distanced inclusion that undoubtedly ensues.

Anyway, this morning, bleary eyed and in a powerless, semi-conscious state, my phone made the standard pop noise. Someone I know had shared a story about the not-Meryl-Streep-Meryl-Streep quote from about a year ago. In case you have missed it (and I did at the time, maybe I can’t rely on internet forums and Woman’s Hour to keep me up to date), this is about a quote that was by Portugese life coach José Micard Teixeira, but has somehow been attributed to Meryl Streep and has travelled the internet far and wide posing as words of wisdom from the great actress. Loving Meryl Streep, or any nugget of wisdom from older ladies who seem to have their shit together, I got sucked in to begin with and could feel myself thinking yeah, right on! Then I read it again and again and saw how miserable, selfish and hostile it actually was, full of hypocrisy and cynicism. If I was Meryl Streep I would be pissed to have this “wisdom” floating around in my name. I got so riled lying there in my usually cosy, chilled, Facebook free area that it awoke the sleeping lion (named Cecil, in memory) that has been my need to write for the past few years, and spurned me to write this, the antithesis of the not-Meryl-Streep-Meryl-Streep quote. I’m not going to quote the original words here, you can google it and find it yourself if you so wish, this is simply my response. Enjoy…

“We all need to have patience. Not because we are meek, yoghurt knitting hippies but because in order for our society to thrive it must be based on community and understanding. I have reached a point in my life where I realise that I have the power to choose what displeases me, and the strength to deflect that which hurts me. I see cynicism, excessive criticism and demands as issues of the beholder, none of my business. I choose to love without expecting love in return and look for the good in everyone, even those who do not like me. I have got to an age where I realise that I look younger when I’m smiling and older when my face is twisted in a grimace, so I try to project a sunny disposition for the sake of myself and those around me. I learned that pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise are sadly part of the foundation of our world and that each of those things are borne of a different insecurity. Pretense shows a lack of confidence, hypocrisy is generated by overwhelm, dishonesty is usually an attempt at protection of self, and seeking and revelling in cheap praise is a sign of low self-esteem. If people have knowledge, I love them to share and revel in it and I enjoy other people’s ideas however different they are to my own. Comparison is indeed the thief of joy but it is also a source of inspiration. I believe in a world where there are a million shades of grey and that’s why I accept those who are inflexible just as I accept those who are pliant. I realise that loyalty and honesty must be earned and that some of my friends are merely acquaintances that owe me nothing. Everyone has busy lives and therefore may not realise that something they are saying or doing directly affects me, so I try not to let it affect me. I understand that those who do not know how to give a compliment or word of encouragement are those most needing compliments and encouragement themselves. Exaggeration can be a great source of humour and those who do not like animals have every right to like or dislike anything they please. And on top of that, I have patience. Without patience the world gets just a little more hostile, selfish and sad. The world deserves our patience. “

- by Me, August 2015