Time For A Change

My apologies if I’ve said this before, but I bloody love September. There’s something about the start of the new school year that holds so much more magic than January 1st. I just want to go out and buy a new pencil case, start a new notebook and slough off a layer of old me (as opposed to actual New Year when I make drunken promises to myself which somehow don’t seem as important when I’m hungover…)

In my many years on this planet I’ve learned that I thrive when things are in a state of flux. While many people get their kicks from roller coasters or throwing themselves off the edge of things, I am most exhilarated when I’m going through MASSIVE LIFE CHANGES (read that in a booming voice). I love moving house, being pregnant and in labour was truly the most thrilling experience I have ever had (I mean, a whole person lived inside of me, come ON) and I will never, ever, tire of house decoration transformation programmes. When things stay the same I get bored, unmotivated and feel like I am stagnating. I need to feel a bit scared, challenged and for life to be a bit unfamiliar to maintain a basic happiness level.

So I am always excited in September. September always means change for me, more so now that I have kids of my own, but I think even in those years between full time education and kids, I still saw September as an opportunity for a fresh start, or to switch things up a bit. Maybe we never really grow out of the three term schedule we got used to as school kids. But either way, we can now stop pretending that we have any sort of Summer (newflash… it WILL rain), knuckle down for some serious graft, and anticipate the glorious show of Autumn (which, of the two most changey* seasons, is my favourite). We can all pledge to start a new hobby/diet/career, learn new things and relive those heady days when we were nervously walking into a new class/school/university in a crisp fresh-out-of-the-packet school shirt/pair of homemade flares. Lovely.

This September is especially exciting for me because after nearly two years taking a detour from my writing career to work in education I am back at my keyboard writing for a living. This means massive changes for me day to day, I can now realistically do the school run in my jeans, decide what times of the day I want to work (hellooo 2am Saturday morning) but most importantly I know I’m going through a MASSIVE LIFE CHANGE and this makes me feel a wonderful sense of freedom.

But there are a few things that can stand in our way of change. The first one, the big one, is fear. Despite my love of change I do seem to get a stuck in little rut with alarming regularity and I suddenly realise that I am doing the same old things day after day because doing something different feels too scary, too BIG. There are times when I long for the feeling of security I have had in my previous lives, the absolute faith that the world, those around me and my life are as they are and will stay as they are for all time. But I think we all know that that feeling is, at the very least, not real. Things can and do change at a moment’s notice and the world can very suddenly feel an entirely different place. Our planet and our lives, are, by their very existence, built on processes of change (don’t make me quote The Very Hungry Caterpillar here). So, in many ways, we must embrace the fear, and realise that whether we like it or not, change is part of all of us.

It can also seem just too hard to deviate from what has become the norm. I made a pledge that this would be my year that the kids would arrive at school on time every morning with all of their book bags, lunchboxes, jumpers, water bottles, signed reading diaries, letters etc attached to them like those other parents who manage to do it day after day (smug bastards). Now, I say this every year but this time I was absolutely convinced I could make it happen. But three mornings in and they have yet to arrive on time despite my best efforts (why is it that children can be utterly independent during school hours but be verging on useless the rest of the time? I mean sometimes Son 2 comes home from school after PE with his top on back to front or shoes on the wrong feet, but he must be capable of some semblance of independence during school hours because I know for a fact that teachers do not have time to help dress 30 kids). Getting kids to change is even harder than changing ourselves. This is why kids watch the same film over and over and over again, they like that feeling of familiarity and routine, because like all of us, it comforts them. But when it comes to life, they HAVE to learn to embrace change otherwise they will end up still living at home at 50 (shudder). But I do realise that in order to get my kids to not be so skatty and hare-brained, I probably need to stop being so skatty and hare-brained myself (and take away all tablets, computers and televisions until they are sitting by the door with their coats on). And it’s not just our kids that can stand in our way, family, friends, colleagues; our lives are a big old tangle of people and finding a way to detour from what has become expected of you can be tricky. It’s tricky, but should not be used as an excuse to stay in a situation that is less that great for you, because even if you don’t change, the world and those around you will.

So it is September that is and will always be, my most favourite and coveted time of year. A time to switch things up and start fresh, try new things and cultivate new habits. I feel like I have come out of my cocoon and unfurled my wings, just like The Very Hungry Caterpillar. OK that happened in Springtime, details, details…

*creative license to make up my own words for the sake of this post.